Combating Loneliness: You Aren’t Struggling Alone
While browsing Ask Reddit, I found a thread posing the question, “What is your age, and what problems are you currently facing in life?” I was shocked to see the responses were riddled with the hallmarks of a lonely life.
The man who lost his grown son and is struggling to support his family because he needs to be the strong one.
The high school student in Iraq who speaks perfect English, but feels trapped in a system where his voice isn’t heard and he has little chance of getting a job when he graduates.
The 21 year old about to graduate college with a major he doesn’t like and is full of regret for choosing.
People are showing up to this corner of the internet and pouring out their fears, dreams, wishes, and struggles. All of them come with a deep feeling of loneliness; they’re seeking people who will hear them.
And the community does hear them.
The man who lost his son speaks with a mother who lost her daughter. She gives him advice, and he knows she feels his pain. He’s a little less lonely.
The Iraqi student is suddenly greeted with a chorus of people brainstorming ways for him to make a living. Most people just stop by to say they hear him, and they see his struggle. He’s a little less lonely.
The college student tries to invalidate his own fears as “not worthy” in a thread where so many others have it worse. The community lifts him up in response. They share their own experiences. He’s a little less lonely.
Loneliness is one of the worst killers we have in society today. Scientists have linked loneliness to shorter lifespans and multiple physical ailments the world over. Nearly half of the US population admits to struggling with loneliness and Austria, Denmark, and the United Kingdom have all launched programs to counteract loneliness. In fact, middle-aged white males have the highest suicide rate in the United States, and this is largely because of loneliness and a lack of people they can share their feelings with.
But the effects of loneliness don’t stop there.
Loneliness kills souls. It silences voices. It snuffs out hope. It sucks away our will to fight for our dreams. It leaves an empty husk where a person once stood.
We live in a world where we’re encouraged to skip over the not-so-great parts of our lives. There are real psychological and physical rewards for behaving a certain way on social media. We walk around feeling like no one really knows us, and it’s often true. We’re lonely. And we’re dying on the inside.
This is exactly the reason why people have started building their own “tribes.” However cliche it may seem, having that group of people you’ve never even met see and hear you is one step away from a lonely death. But it only works if you actually share bits of yourself so the community can hear you, see your struggle, and lift you up.
None of our experiences on this planet are unique. If you are dealing with a struggle, someone else out there is going through the exact same problem. Only by sharing our experiences with others and being vulnerable with our true feelings can we cure loneliness. It may be scary, but by talking about our problems, we can gain a solid support system and collaborate on our struggles to work through them faster.
