I Almost Missed My Calling After Finding it at 22

I found my calling at 22, but it took me 3 years to take action on it.

This isn’t one of those “I’ve been working behind the scenes” posts either. No, I flat out didn’t do ANYTHING. I spent 3 years trying to make my life work according to my original plan instead, and I just ended up feeling lost and confused.

One month after my 22nd birthday I presented my college thesis to a gallery full of strangers. I’d created an installation designed to invite people to learn more about love and what it means to them. As a design student, I didn’t have to write a paper, but I’d spent MONTHS pouring over any research I could find about love and what it takes to have a really solid, loving relationship. I’d analyzed everything from scientific studies to the Bible in my own quest to learn how to love someone, and I shared what I’d found with those strangers.

I built a wall and covered it with flowers and my research to create a garden designed to invite people to explore.

I’ll never forget that night.

A man I’d known for years came up to me with tears running down his face. He shared his secret with me: he’s gay and had been having trouble with his relationships. Through his sobs, he shared that he’d never felt his love was valid until he read through what I’d created. He’d never realized that as a gay man, the love he felt for his partner was just as real as love between heterosexual couples. I’d changed his world that day.

I saw an 80 year old woman spend half an hour absorbing everything I’d shared. After she’d gone through everything, she wandered off. Within 5 minutes, she came back, and this time she had her daughter and granddaughter in tow. This woman, who is 4 times my age, felt that my work was worthy of sharing with every generation of her family.

At least a dozen people read every single piece of writing I’d included on the installation. I was shocked: they spent at least half an hour in the space I’d created, absorbing every detail.

Dozens more came with cell phones ready to take pictures of specific parts of the wall that resonated with them. Using the crowd as my cover, I looked over their shoulders. They were sending the pictures to the people in their lives who needed to hear my message.

My goal had been to invite people to look within themselves as well as to start a conversation with their loved ones, but I never could have imagined how deep the impact would be.

That night I went home in awe, and for the whole week I was buzzing with the sense that I could really change the world. Within two weeks, though, I’d graduated and was thrust into the world to find a “real job.”

I crumbled under the pressure. I went from someone who wanted to change the world to someone who was working in a dead end job.

That was almost four years ago.

In the three years after my thesis, my husband and I packed everything we own into a minivan and moved 3,000 miles from home. I launched and closed a drop shipping company. I had an amazing job working for companies like Google, MillerCoors, and SiriusXM that I quit in order to start my own design business. We sold that minivan along with everything else we owned to travel the world full time.

But I hadn’t changed the world.

Someone else could have done literally everything I’d done in the past three years and they would have created the same impact. No one else could have created the impact that I’d made with my thesis, though.

I’ve made a lot of choices out of fear. Fear that I’d be judged for not using my degree. Fear I could never make a living by doing what I really wanted. Fear I’d ruin my relationship with my husband. Fear I wouldn’t be able to live up to my dreams.

And then something changed. I re-read some of the books I’d studied for my thesis and felt like I’d been slapped in the face.

As a business owner, I hadn’t been applying what I knew about love and what it means to be a woman to my own business. I decided to try reapplying what I’d learned, and this time I did so from a business perspective. All of a sudden, I had people clamoring for my services. I shared my story and people from all over the world wanted to hear more from me. I was fielding hundreds of comments and dozens of messages constantly.

Something clicked. Wait a second, why wasn’t I helping other women with this? I know how to show up in a room and make every head turn. I know how to love another human being with a deep vulnerability and I could build amazing relationships. I know how to pull visions out of people and turn them into reality. I know how to really feel at home in my own skin. I know how doing all of this can absolutely catapult a business to new heights, and how to help the woman running that business realize her dreams. I could teach all of that.

I shed the old me like an outfit that never quite fit.

I’ve lost count of the women I’ve helped creating lasting, positive change for in the past year. I’m making an impact, and no one can replace me.

If anyone here is feeling constantly drained and angry, I get you. I’ve been there. Things can change. I’d like to invite you to reach out.